Today’s readings can be hard to read. In the first reading, Moses expresses the pain that can come with service and leadership. The people are grumbling again. And Moses feels the burden of leading them. So much so that he asks the Lord to just take his life. “I cannot carry all this people by myself, for they are too heavy for me. If this is the way you deal with me, then please do me the favor of killing me at once, so that I need no longer face this distress.”
In the Gospel reading from Matthew 14, we read the story about Jesus walking on the water during a storm. Peter asks Jesus to command that he come to him on the water. Jesus does, and Peter jumps out of the boat and begins walking on the water. Then he begins to doubt, and begins to sink. Jesus saves him and says, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Doubt. It can be a real problem for us. Doubt is kind of the anti-faith. And it would be easy for us to point fingers at Moses and Peter. Moses doubted that God would see him through this difficult trial. Peter doubted that he could walk on water at the command of Jesus. I get it. Reading these passages makes me feel very close to Moses and Peter. Because I, too, am filled with doubt. My prayer is that I can wind up like Moses and Peter. As I draw closer to God, the doubt will fall away like the scales from St. Paul’s eyes.
Father, forgive us for the times that we doubt your love, your grace, your power. May our doubts become a distant memory as we embrace Jesus more fully. Amen.